When I See Blue - Lily Bailey

 


Twelve year old Ben has just moved house with his family and has started a new school where he is determined to be invisible.  You see Ben suffers from OCD and this rules his brain: his special number is four which means he has to do things four times, or in multiples of four (including only writing words with four letters in them); he finds he needs to do certain things repeatedly (opening and closing doors, tapping things ...) in order to keep his family safe and each colour has a meaning for him which dictates whether he will use it - life is exhausting and doing simple things such as getting dressed can take ages.  In his last school, he had a hard time because of this so he is determined to remain unseen at Hilltown Secondary School.  But then April starts to talk to him and they become friends.  However, at home, with his older brother Kyle in a constantly moody state and his mum's drinking becoming excessive and causing problems, Ben finds everything difficult to navigate.  But what happens when he has to put his OCD to the test?

This is a truly wonderful book and a completely honest look at what life is like for children who suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder.  Ben is clearly lonely and every part of his life is ruled by his condition: what he wears, where he goes, how he eats, the way he thinks - it really is a bully in his brain and he is too scared to stop for fear of somebody in his family being hurt (they say people with OCD are incredibly caring and we see this in huge amounts in Ben).  The way Bailey describes Ben's intrusive thoughts (using italics to show his internal monologue) as well as the external struggles he faces, is insightful and gives the reader a real sense of what he is going through.   

By comparison, April is a confident young lady who seems to have everything sorted.  There's a real warmth to the friendship she and Ben form which is all down to April's decision to start to talk to Ben.  Although very different, they compliment each other and their friendship is a joy to read.  

As well as OCD, the book also tackles some other tricky domestic situations: Ben's parents clearly aren't getting on well and his mum's drinking becomes increasingly worse as the book progresses - this is a family who has a lot going on, but it is woven into the plot sensitively and compassionately. 

Mental health is at the forefront of many conversations at the minute and When I See Blue shines a spotlight on one element of this.  I know the term OCD is often used in a light-hearted/throw-away manner, but the book gives a real insight into life with this condition and will help children understand what it really means to live with this.  It will allow children with OCD to see themselves and will give them hope.  I loved Ben and found myself wanting to reach into the book to hug him.  

When I See Blue is a hugely powerful book; full of emotion whilst also being heart-warming, it made me cry, laugh and hug the book!  I found myself thinking of Ben even when I wasn't reading the book and he is somebody who will remain with me for a long time. 

Due for release on the 9th June, When I See Blue is a triumph of a novel and one that needs to be in every school.  Engaging, insightful and full of heart, this book will make you feel anything but blue!



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